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Getting toddler to sleep in own bed

Read time: 8 minutes
Picture of Samantha Saltz, MD

Samantha Saltz, MD

Double Board-Certified Child, Adolescent & Adult Psychiatrist

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Introduction

Getting your toddler to sleep in their own bed can be challenging for parents. But it can be done with a various practical approaches, as long as each strategy is used with sensitivity and always keeping the child’s emotional well-being in mind.

Common Challenges

Child’s fear or resistance to sleeping alone

Many children experience fear or resistance when it comes to sleeping alone in their own bed. This is a common challenge that parents face during the transition. It is important to acknowledge and address their fears and emotions with empathy and understanding. Creating a comforting bedtime routine, using nightlights or security objects, and providing reassurance and support can help alleviate their anxiety and gradually encourage them to feel more comfortable sleeping in their own bed.

Parent’s difficulty in setting boundaries

Setting boundaries can be a challenging task for parents when it comes to getting a child to sleep in their own bed. It is crucial for parents to establish consistent rules and expectations regarding bedtime and stick to them. Clear communication, firm yet loving guidance, and a structured bedtime routine can assist parents in effectively setting boundaries and encouraging their child to sleep in their own bed.

Establishing a bedtime routine

Consistency and structure

Consistency and structure play a pivotal role in establishing a successful bedtime routine for a child, enabling them to sleep in their own bed. By consistently following a structured routine, parents provide a sense of stability and predictability for their child, which promotes feelings of security and comfort. This routine should include activities such as brushing teeth, reading a story, or engaging in calming activities. Through repetition and adherence to this routine, the child learns to associate these actions with sleep, making the transition to their own bed easier and more natural.

Creating a calm and soothing environment

Creating a calm and soothing environment is of utmost importance when establishing a bedtime routine for a child to encourage them to sleep in their own bed. By cultivating an environment that promotes relaxation and tranquility, parents can help their child unwind and prepare for sleep. This can be achieved by dimming lights, playing soft and gentle music, and ensuring a comfortable temperature in the bedroom. Minimizing distractions such as electronic devices and loud noises can further contribute to creating a peaceful atmosphere. The calm and soothing environment signals to the child that it is time to wind down and encourages them to settle in their own bed for a restful sleep.

Gradually transitioning to child’s bed

Gradually transitioning to a child’s bed is an effective strategy in setting a bedtime routine to encourage a child to sleep in their own bed. By gradually introducing the child to their new bed, parents can help them become familiar and comfortable with the change. Start by incorporating the child’s bed into their bedtime routine, such as reading a bedtime story or singing a lullaby in their own bed. Over time, gradually increase the amount of time the child spends in their bed until they are sleeping through the night. This gradual approach allows the child to adjust at their own pace and increases the likelihood of successful and sustained sleep in their own bed.

The Squishy Method

The “squishy” method is a technique that parents can use to help their child transition from sleeping in their parents’ bed to sleeping in their bed. This method involves parents gradually moving closer to the child who has climbed into their bed, effectively reducing the amount of space and making the sleeping arrangement less comfortable for the child. By gently encroaching on the child’s space, the child may find the experience less appealing and decide that sleeping in their bed is preferable due to the increased comfort and space.

It’s important to approach this strategy carefully, ensuring the child is not scared or made to feel unwelcome but rather nudged towards a more independent sleeping habit. The effectiveness and appropriateness of this strategy can vary greatly depending on the child’s age, temperament, and the parents’ judgment. Therefore, it should be applied with sensitivity to avoid any negative feelings associated with bedtime or sleeping arrangements.

The Bed Shuffle Technique

If your child comes into your bed, gently guide them back to their room, but with each night, place a mattress or a portable bed closer to their room. This gradual transition can help them acclimate to sleeping in their own space with less resistance.

The “Doorway Campout”

If you have children who need your presence to fall asleep, you can start by promising to stay near them until they doze off. You can sit outside their open bedroom door and engage in a quiet task or read a book. As time passes, gradually shift your position away from them but still within earshot until you’re out of sight. This method helps build their confidence and independence while reassuring them of your presence.

Sleepy Tokens

Consider implementing a “sleepy tokens” or “bedtime passes” system for your children. These tokens can be used to request a visit to your room once per night, but once used, the child must return to their bed. This system can provide a sense of security and empowerment for your child, even if they don’t use the token.

The Family Sleepover Transition

If your child is used to sleeping in the family bed and you want to transition them to their room, you can start with a phased approach. Begin by having a fun sleepover night in your child’s room to make it an enjoyable and desirable space. Then, gradually decrease the number of nights you sleep with them, eventually transitioning to a “checking in” routine where you visit them periodically to reassure them before they fall asleep in their bed.

Special Night Swap

Consider designating one night each week as a “special night” where your child is allowed to sleep in your bed. It’s best to choose a night when the next day isn’t rushed so they can enjoy the experience. This gives them something to look forward to and helps reinforce the agreement to sleep in their bed on other nights.

The Comfort Swap

If your child seeks comfort from being close to you, try to find a substitute to comfort them. This substitute could be a pillow with your scent, a particular stuffed animal, or your recorded message. Providing comfort in this way encourages the person’s independence while still being present.

Sleep Fairy Incentives

Introduce the idea of a “Sleep Fairy” who rewards children with small gifts under their pillow for each night spent sleeping in their bed. Unlike milestone rewards, this incentive provides immediate overnight gratifications, making it tangible and exciting for children to stay in bed.

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Star projector

Incorporating a star projector in a child’s room can make bedtime more exciting and help them sleep better in their bed. These projectors display a mesmerizing array of stars and celestial patterns on the walls and ceiling, creating a magical and soothing environment that can capture a child’s imagination. By turning bedtime into a journey to a starry night sky, children may feel more excited about going to bed and associate their room with positive and comforting imagery. This approach helps ease fears of the dark by introducing a gentle, enchanting light source. It enriches the bedtime routine with a special ritual that children can look forward to each night. The key is to present the starry night as a unique and desirable feature of their sleeping space, reinforcing that their bed is a special place full of wonder and calm.

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Bedtime Story Projector

This device projects images from a storybook onto the wall or ceiling, making storytime more interactive and visually stimulating, helping children wind down before bed.

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Weighted Blankets

These blankets provide a sense of security and comfort through gentle pressure, mimicking the feeling of being hugged. They can significantly reduce anxiety and help children relax into a deeper sleep.

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White Noise Machines

Offering a range of soothing sounds, from rainforest ambiance to ocean waves, white noise machines can mask household noises and create a calming environment conducive to sleep.

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Sleep Training Clocks

These clocks use colors and symbols to teach children when it’s time to sleep and when it’s okay to wake up, helping to establish healthy sleep routines.

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Lavender-Scented Plush Toys

Infused with the gentle scent of lavender, known for its calming and sleep-inducing properties, these plush toys can be a comforting bedtime companion for children.

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Glow-in-the-Dark Wall Decals

Transforming a child’s room into a nighttime wonderland, these decals can make sleeping in their room more appealing and less intimidating.

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Aromatherapy Diffusers

With child-safe essential oils like lavender or chamomile, these diffusers can create a serene atmosphere in the child’s room, promoting relaxation and sleep.

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